What Hurts The Most
by SidneySnape
Summary: Hermione remembers her love.


**WHAT HURTS THE MOST**

**I own nothing of the Harry Potter universe and I also own nothing of the song involved.**

**My thanks to Becky for betaing this story for me.**

**What Hurts The Most**

_I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house_

_That don't bother me_

Hermione sat in her home in muggle London. She sat in her window seat looking out across her garden through the rain. It seemed appropriate that it would rain this day.

_I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out_

_I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while_

As Hermione watched the rain come down to help give life to all the plants outside, she felt her tears rolling down her cheeks. She didn't brush them away, no-one could see them. Everyone had left hours ago. Harry and Ginny offered to stay, but she assured them she would be alright. Told them she would floo if she needed them.

_Even though going on with you gone gone still upsets me_

_There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok_

_But that's not what gets me_

He had been gone for about a week before anyone found him. She remembered back; Severus said he was only going to be gone a few hours, And when he didn't return home, Hermione got worried and flooed Harry. Harry got the Order to help look for him. She pretended everything was going to be alright when he finally got home. He had to come home! Hermione kept her sorrow to herself, only crying at night when she lay alone in the big bed that she had shared with Severus.

_What hurts the most, was being so close, and having so much to say,_

_and watching you walk away, and never knowing, what could have_

_been, and not seeing that loving you, is what i was trying to do_

Eveyone in the wizarding world knew how Hermione had stolen the heart of the most feared professor at Hogwarts.Severus and Hermione would walk into any shop in Diagon Alley and you could tell instantly how much in love they were. People were just surprised that they weren't married, and expecting their first child.

_It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere i go_

_But I'm doin' it_

_It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone_

The day after Severus had been found, everyone gathered at the house trying to make Hermione feel as comfortable as possible. She gave half-hearted smiles and told them she was fine. The hardest part was going to Hogwarts.They would always go and visit everyone togther. She cried as she remembered how much he actually enjoyed seeing what new animal Hagrid had found, or talking to Minerva and seeing how the school was doing.

_Still harder_

_Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret_

_But I know if I could do it over_

_I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart_

_That I left unspoken_

Each day that Severus remained missing, Hermione would feel a guilt that no one could understand. Everyone in the wizarding world knew how much they meant to each other, but they hardly said the words to each other. They both knew what they meant to each other and Severus wasn't much for vocalizing it. But now, Hermione wanted so much to hug and kiss him till he couldn't breathe and tell him how much she really loved him. Hermione may have stolen Severus' heart, but she gave hers freely to him.

_What hurts the most, was being so close, and having so much to say,_

_and watching you walk away, and never knowing, what could have_

_been, and not seeing that loving you, is what i was trying to do_

Today, five days after finding Severus, he was laid to rest. He was found beaten in Knockturn Alley. They tried to save him at St. Mungo's, but he'd lost too much blood and had been out in the cold for too long. The doctors reasoned that if they could have found him a few days sooner, he most likely would have survived. Harry and Ginny were right to be concerned about Hermione. She collapsed at the grave side crying and she kept saying how much she loved him. When Harry came up behind her, she wrapped her arms around him. She kept repeating, "He will never know, now." When he asked what Severus would never know about, he was sadder for his friend than ever. It turned out that when Severus was to return home, Hermione was going to tell him that she was pregnant.

After the funeral everyone but, Harry, Ginny and Minerva had departed. Hermione was given eveything that had been found with Severus. They were all shocked to find an engagement ring among his belongings. It turned out that when he'd left home, he went to a jewerly shop for the ring. Hermione placed it on her finger, and vowed never to remove it. All she could do now was love their child, this small part of her Severus, and tell him/her how brave and loving their father was.

End.

**What Hurts The Most lyrics - by Rascal Flatts**

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house

That don't bother me

I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out

I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while

Even though going on with you gone still upsets me

There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok

But that's not what gets me

What hurts the most

Was being so close

And having so much to say

And watching you walk away

And never knowing

What could have been

And not seeing that loving you

Is what I was tryin' to do

It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go

But I'm doin' It

It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone

Still Harder

Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret

But I know if I could do it over

I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart

That I left unspoken

What hurts the most

Is being so close

And having so much to say

And watching you walk away

And never knowing

What could have been

And not seeing that loving you

Is what I was trying to do

What hurts the most

Is being so close

And having so much to say

And watching you walk away

And never knowing

What could have been

And not seeing that loving you

Is what I was trying to do

Not seeing that loving you

That's what I was trying to do


End file.
